Kingfisher Cove

Oh, Peanut!

It’s such a sad day.

Peanut’s life quality declined greatly over this month, and we made that godawful decision that today was the day. We knew she would never improve. At 16, that’s pretty remarkable longevity for a dog. The diapers just weren’t cutting it, partly because of her oddly shaped body (she kept extricating herself from them), but also because her hind legs were very weak and wobbly from her horrible disc issue from several years ago, and the diapers made it almost impossible for her to walk. She kept falling over when she tried.

And the urine smell. My word.

It’s always so hard to know when is the right time. After all, she still lit up at doggy dinner time! Loved her treats (lived for food, really). She wasn’t on her last breath, but do we really want to wait until they are? Her bowels were also losing it, a sure sign that organs were starting to shut down.

So we said goodbye today.

Bub-bye sweet Peanut.

Angst and Beauty

My God, the local political ads. They play them over and over and over and over and over again. Now that I’ve voted, I am so desperately done with this and there are two weeks left of all of this crap. It would be a good time to take a l-o-n-g trip somewhere, far far away. (Aside from having to deal with a leaky dog who manages to extricate herself from her diapers to the point of fuck it.) (And then I’m surrounded by the stench of puddle leaks all around that I’m constantly mopping and I’ve really had it, folks).

I’m envious of our neighbors who are in CUBA!! I mean, talk about escaping from the crazy to a different kind of crazy (but definitely interesting).

I really don’t have much tonight, but another neighbor (who takes the awesome photos of sunsets and stuff around here) posted some pics on Facebook today of our lovely little Nicole Lane. It’s the road that we all maintain, and John is the president of the road association (and the neighbor who is currently in Cuba is the secretary). In all the years we’d drive down here after work on Friday nights, John and I would always feel such peace when we finally arrived to Nicole Lane. The stress of our work-weeks would immediately dissipate into the ether. Often, we encounter deer alongside the road (sometimes on the road). Even now, living down here full time, I feel that peace when I drive home from the grocery store!

I think you can see why. (I recommend embiggening).

 

Quickies Before I Forget

• The Chicago Cubs are going to the World Series for the first time in 71 years!
• The Seahawks played horribly Sunday night against the Arizona Cardinals (strong defense but basically zero offense) and the game ended in a 6-6 TIE after double overtime (and both teams bonked easy-peasy field goals to win the game). It was…godawful.
• Two weeks from tomorrow, this horrible election will be OVAH. My god, it has been the worst ever.
• For the first time ever in the history of our country, I voted for a woman president. Damned awesome.

• I also love that I voted for the first black president. Twice!
• (I am going to miss him and the First Lady beyond measure. They are such classy, wonderful people. SNIFF.)
• As you can see, the critters ADORE John. Pretty unusual for the cats to be that close together, although it’s clear that Wylie’s nose was a bit out of joint that Mojo had jumped up on John’s lap.

• Still raining, still no concrete (and likely won’t be this week), but we did have a break from the weather and a pretty sky this evening.

• That’s all for now.

Got a Wife? A Daughter? A Sister?

How could you vote for a presidential candidate who has said ALL OF THESE THINGS?

 

A running list of all the worst things Donald Drumpf has said about women. It’s long.

1. “A person who is very flat-chested is very hard to be a 10.”
2. “I have days where, if I come home—and I don’t want to sound too much like a chauvinist—but when I come home and dinner’s not ready, I go through the roof.
3. “Women have one of the great acts of all time. The smart ones act very feminine and needy, but inside they are real killers.”
4. “The person who came up with the expression ‘the weaker sex’ was either very naive or had to be kidding. I have seen women manipulate men with just a twitch of their eye—or perhaps another body part.”
5. On a former model: “Sadly, she’s no longer a 10.“
6. “What I say is what I say, and honestly, Megyn, if you don’t like it, I’m sorry. I’ve been very nice to you, although I could probably maybe not be, based on how you’ve treated me, but I won’t do that.”
7. “For a man to be successful, he needs support at home, just like my father had from my mother, not someone who is always griping and bitching.”
8. “I think that putting a wife to work is a very dangerous thing.”
9. “Let’s look at a few things that seem to be working. We can start out by making it clear to teenage mothers that they aren’t going to get public assistance unless they jump through some pretty small hoops. Making them live in group homes makes sense.”
10. “Oftentimes when I was sleeping with one of the top women in the world. I would say to myself, thinking about me as a boy from Queens, ‘Can you believe what I am getting?’”
11. “I have really given a lot of women great opportunity. Unfortunately, after they are a star, the fun is over for me.”
12. “There’s nothing I love more than women, but they’re really a lot different than portrayed. They are far worse than men, far more aggressive … .”
13. On women: “You have to treat ’em like s—.”
14. “You know, it really doesn’t matter what they write, as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”
15. “I like kids. I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of ’em. I’ll supply funds, and she’ll take care of the kids.”
16. “I don’t [change diapers]. It’s not my thing.”
17. “Nobody cares about the talent [in beauty pageants]. There’s only one talent you care about, and that’s the look talent. You don’t give a shit if a girl can play a violin like the greatest violinist in the world. You want to know, what does she look like?”
18. “I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?”
19. “Pregnancy is never—it’s a wonderful thing for the woman. It’s a wonderful thing for the husband. It’s certainly an inconvenience for a business.”
20. “Beauty and elegance, whether in a woman, a building, or a work of art, is not just superficial or something pretty to see.”
21. Called a beauty pageant winner “Miss Piggy” and “Miss Housekeeping.”
22. On a presidential candidate: “Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president? I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not supposed to say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?”
23. On a female contestant on Celebrity Apprentice: “Must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees.”
24. On a beauty pageant winner: “She weighed 118 pounds or 117 pounds, and she went to 160 or 170. So this is somebody that likes to eat.”
25. On working mothers: “An employer could say she’s not giving 100 percent, she’s giving me 84 percent, and 16 percent is going toward taking care of children.”
26. On responding—in 2016—to his criticism of a beauty pageant winner’s weight: “She gained a massive amount of weight, and it was a real problem.”
27. Called a female attorney “disgusting” because she had to pump breast milk.
28. Said derogatory comments he made about women were for the “purpose of entertainment.”
29. On a comedian: “I’d like to take some money out of her fatass pockets.”
30. On a comedian: “[She’s] disgusting, I mean, both inside and out. You take a look at her, she’s a slob. She talks like a—like a truck driver. She doesn’t have her facts. She’ll say anything that comes to her mind.”
31. On an actress: “The boob job is terrible. They look like two lightbulbs coming out of her body.”
32. Said a New York Times columnist has “The face of a dog!”
33. “Would you go out with Marcia Cross or would you turn gay, Howard?”
34. “Don’t you think my daughter’s hot? She’s hot, right?”
35. “You have a cold, and you’re going to end up having an abortion.”
36. Said to 14-year-old girls: “Wow! Just think—in a couple of years I’ll be dating you.”
37. “When a man leaves a woman, especially when it was perceived that he has left for a piece of ass … there are 50 percent of the population who will love the woman who was left.”
38. “Some women are highly aggressive and they want sex, no different from men and sometimes worse.”
39. “Love him or hate him, Donald Drumpf is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money.”
40. Told Howard Stern it was OK to call his daughter Ivanka “a piece of ass.”
41. “What is it at 35? It’s called check-out time.”
42. “No, I have no age—I mean, I have an age limit. I don’t want to be like Congressman Foley, with, you know, 12-year-olds.”
43. Told Howard Stern he’d have “no problem” sleeping with 24-year-olds.”
44. When Howard Stern asked him, “Would you have a black woman in bed?” he responded, “Well, it depends on what your definition of black is.”
45. Referred to his bed as “The rainbow coalition, as Rev. Jesse would say.”
46. On men having threesomes: “Haven’t we all? Are we babies?”
47. On the wife of a famous athlete: “No, I’d say she’s a solid nine, solid nine, yeah.”
48. On doing a show where all he does is rate women: “That may be the best idea of all I would say I’m the all-time judge, don’t forget, I own the Miss Universe pageant.”
49. “She’s very nice—is she a 10, you know what a 10 is?”
50. “Well, I’ll tell you the funniest is that before a show, I’ll go backstage, and everyone’s getting dressed, and everything else, and you know, no men are anywhere, and I’m allowed to go in because I’m the owner of the pageant and therefore I’m inspecting it. You know, I’m inspecting because I want to make sure that everything is good.”
51. On going backstage at his beauty pageants while contestants are changing: “You know, the dresses. ‘Is everyone OK?’ You know, they’re standing there with no clothes. ‘Is everybody OK?’ And you see these incredible-looking women, and so, I sort of get away with things like that.”
52. On choosing beauty pageant contestants before he bought Miss Universe: “They had a person who was extremely proud that a number of the women had become doctors. And I wasn’t interested.”
53. Said his ex-wife’s accent “got worse as she grew older” and “It was like the Chinese torture. You know, the water drops on your head.”
54. “I did try and f— her. She was married. I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture. I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there and she was married.Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. I’m automatically attracted to beautiful—I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the p—-. You can do anything.”
55. “There are basically three types of women and reactions. One is the good woman who very much loves her future husband, solely for himself, but refuses to sign the agreement on principle. I fully understand this, but the man should take a pass anyway and find someone else. The other is the calculating woman who refuses to sign the prenuptial agreement because she is expecting to take advantage of the poor, unsuspecting sucker she’s got in her grasp. There is also the woman who will openly and quickly sign a prenuptial agreement in order to make a quick hit and take the money given to her.”
56. “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me—consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”
57. On an actress: “I don’t know what it is. I never thought she was good-looking. I don’t think she’s got good skin. I don’t think she’s got a great face. I think her lips are too big, to be honest with you, they look like too big.”
58. Ranked the cast of Desperate Housewives based on their appearances.
59. Said he would have slept with a recently deceased celebrity “without hesitation.”
60. On an actress’s relationship: “So when he had plenty of money, she liked him. But then after that, not as good, right?”
61. Said he would “promise not to talk about your massive plastic surgeries that didn’t work” to a singer.
62. Called an entrepreneur “unattractive both inside and out” and said, “I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man- he made a good decision.
63. “26,000 unreported sexual assaults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?”
64. “How much money is the extremely unattractive (both inside and out) Arianna Huffington paying her poor ex-hubby for the use of his name?”
65. Called a journalist a “bimbo”
66. After calling a journalist a “bimbo”: “You’ve been called a lot worse, wouldn’t you say?”
67. “Why does she keep interrupting everybody?”
68. On the other presidential candidate: “She doesn’t have the look. She doesn’t have the stamina.”
69. After getting heat for criticizing a beauty pageant winner, he said “Check out sex tape”
70. On an actress: “She’s probably deeply troubled and therefore great in bed. How come the deeply troubled women, you know, deeply, deeply troubled, they’re always the best in bed?”
71. On “troubled” women: “You don’t want to be with ‘em for the long term. But for the short term, there’s nothing like it.”
72. On how he’s “banged some of the greatest beauties on the planet,” according to Howard Stern: “That is true. Some of the greats in history.”
73. “Does she have a good body? No. Does she have a fat ass? Absolutely.”
74. “She’s gotten a little bit large. … I would say this, I don’t think you should dress like you weigh 120 pounds.”
75. On a former Miss Teen USA contestant: “She figured she’ll do porn, she’ll make some money. …Will you call me and let me know how good it is?”
76. On a woman who accused him of sexually assaulting her: “Take a look. You take a look. Look at her. Look at her words. You tell me what you think. I don’t think so. I don’t think so.”
77. On a New York magazine writer: “The woman’s a liar, extremely unattractive, lots of problems because of her looks.”
78. “I tell friends who treat their wives magnificently, get treated like crap in return, ‘Be rougher and you’ll see a different relationship.’”
79. Said his ex-wife “had a great softness that disappeared. She became an executive, not a wife.”
80. Called a reporter “naive.”
81. Called a reporter “third-rate”
82. To a reporter: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Try getting it out. Go ahead.”
83. On a musician’s love life: “If she goes back [to him], she’s a loser, and she doesn’t deserve to have any future success.’’
84. On an actress : “I would say a solid 7.”
85. On an actress: “The face is a solid 8. And the legs are maybe a little bit less than that.”
86. Said an actress had “a little bit of a skin problem, I would say. Little rough with the skin, do you understand? Little polka dots all over the place.”
87. On if his wife gained weight: “I’d say, ‘Start working out.’”
88. “You like your candy.”
89. “I said to one of the women, I said, don’t eat—you shouldn’t have a piece of candy, OK?”
90. On a beauty pageant winner: “She really did get too heavy for what she’s representing.” — New York Post, 10/24/98
91. “Men, I have no idea. … I said, ‘Artie, I have no idea what you weigh.’ A woman, I can tell within half a pound.” — Howard Stern Show, 2004
92. “That woman is a fat pig who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
93. “I mean, the women, some of the women, happen to be very attractive. And they have used their sexuality to win certain tasks, as we call them. And hey, that’s part of life, I guess. In real life, that happens, too. I’ve known it. I’ve seen it happen.”
94. “If you’re going to be a concert pianist, you’re most likely not going to look like the girls from Miss USA. … It’s tough, you have these girls, and they do have some pretty good talent, but then they get on and you say, ‘Wow.’” — Howard Stern Show, 6/17/14
95. “You can put all the cello-playing rocket scientists you want on the runway, but men—and women—like seeing drop-dead gorgeous girls. That’s what I give ’em—beauty beats brains any time.”
96. “Certain guys tell me they want women of substance, not beautiful models. It just means they can’t get beautiful models.”
97. To Hugh Hefner: “It’s hard for me to tell which of these girls are yours, and which ones are mine.”
98. On a woman who claimed he made sexual advances toward her on an airplane: “Believe me, she would not be my first choice.”
99. On approaching women: “Move forward. Even if you get smacked.”
100. “Women usually will put their families first, or at least give them equal time. The families win, but often that’s why women perceive a glass ceiling looming overhead.”
101. “If you have a bad boss, if the boss is no good, if the boss treats you poorly, then quit. Leave. Do something. You shouldn’t have the right to sue.”
102. On sexual harassment: “I think it’s a very ugly witch hunt, and I think it’s very unfair. You say, ‘Oh, hello, darling, how are you?’ And you get sued because you’ve destroyed somebody’s life. It’s ridiculous.”
103. On women who’ve accused Herman Cain of sexual harassment: “They probably do love their names splashed across the front pages. And frankly, I think that’s not a good situation, and I don’t think it’s a fair situation.”
104. “I mean, we could say politically correct that look doesn’t matter, but the look obviously matters. Like, you wouldn’t have your job if you weren’t beautiful.”
105. Called a reporter a “lightweight.”
106. “I mean, some incredible, beautiful women, they’ll walk up, and they’ll flip their top, and they’ll flip their panties.”
107. Said “oh yes” when Howard Stern asked, “Have you ever been with a woman that looked really hot with her clothes on, you get her naked, and then you’re totally disgusted?”
108. “I’ve been with women with extraordinarily bad breast jobs. … When everything looks very beautiful but, you know, they had the wrong doctor and things like that.”
109. “Her breasts were so much bigger at the casting. Maybe she had her period then.”
110. Thinks it’s “insane” that a woman would get a breast reduction.
111. “I have never seen a good breast reduction.”
112. “I saw a woman who was totally beautiful. She was angry that so many men were calling her. ‘How dare they call me? It’s terrible. They’re all looking at my breasts. So she had a major breast reduction. The good news? Nobody calls her anymore. And the bad news? Nobody even looks.”
113. On a politician’s wife’s appearance: “Well, let’s say that there are better. By large margins.”
114. Called an actress “an extremely unattractive woman.”
115. On the marriage of two celebrities: “My attitude is whatever makes him happy, Howard, and you know the expression, ‘That’s why they have menus in restaurants?’ I go into a restaurant, I want steak, somebody else likes peas.”
116. On a model: I really don’t know, I’ve seen her once in person, and she didn’t have a good night the night I saw her.”
117. Called two celebrities “a f—— mess.”
118. Told a talk-show host “You‘re very pretty in your own right.”
119. “Women are worse than men, they’re more sexually aggressive than men. If they’re married, they’re even worse.”
120. “They wear thongs, they wear bikinis, they wear high heels. They wear just about everything that you’re not supposed to wear because that’s not politically correct.”
121. On Miss Universe pageants: “You won’t find rocket scientists, you won’t find brain surgeons. What you’ll find are the most beautiful women in the world.”
122. “The problem with Miss America, you know the girls are talented, they do have talent, but it’s very tough to find great beauty with great talent.”
123. “I’ll tell you, the women in Miss America are just not nearly as beautiful as the women in Miss USA or Miss Universe.”
124. “I would never want to date a Miss Universe during a run, but after your reign, I take them out to dine.”
125. Said avoiding STDs was his “Vietnam.”
126. Said he should be “getting the Congressional Medal of Honor” after Howard Stern said he’s “braver than any Vietnam vet because [he’s] out there screwing a lot of women.”
127. “You’re going to make the same [as a man] if you do as good a job.”
128. On paying men and women equally: “You get away from the whole American Dream. You get away from capitalism in a sense.”
129. “It’s something that people aren’t talking about, but what’s going on is bedlam, bringing women in the army.”
130. “I would say with women, if they qualify [for the military], if they qualify, and I have to say there are very few that qualify from a certain standpoint.”
131. On if he treats women with respect: “I can’t say that.”
132. On insulting women: “Frankly what I say, and oftentimes it’s fun, it’s kidding, we have a good time.”
133. On female contestants on The Apprentice: “Many of the women are very beautiful, supermodel beautiful, but they have 200 IQs, which is rather rare.”
134. Called a news anchor “a neurotic and not very bright mess.”
135. On the other presidential candidate: “Do you think she looks presidential? I don’t think so.”
136. “I’m probably more intelligent than Hillary [Clinton].”
137. Called for the resignation of a Supreme Court Justice and said “her mind is shot.”
138. Called a senator “goofy” and referred to her as “Pocahontas.”
139. “No. I don’t think she looks as good. … So many people when they lose this weight, this large amount of weight, they never look good again.” — Howard Stern Show, 2/12/07
140. Said hot women were his “alcoholism.”

WET

I wouldn’t be surprised one bit to learn that this has been the wettest first half of October we’ve ever had. If not a record, it sure has to be up there.

So, we STILL don’t have concrete poured for the driveway because, you know, WET. We are *hoping* (via the forecast) that next Thursday will give us a window to get ‘r done. No guarantees at all, because long(ish)-ranged forecasts don’t hold up well around here.

There was a brief break today where John went out and did repair work on that big rut the rain had carved out of the bank, although he still needs to repair the steps. One of the ironies is that before the storms, he had also installed the drainage system in preparation of the concrete pour, and if it had worked out to have it poured when planned, that rut wouldn’t have happened! Here’s what it looks like:

If you embiggen, you can see that the rainwater will enter the grate at the top and then flow through the pipe (which extends out through the bank). But, the concrete has to be even with the top of the grate for it to collect the rainwater. So it doesn’t do any good until then, and it’s a pain because we have to park our vehicles at the top of the driveway since we can’t drive over it to get into the garage. I hate this time of year! People look so forward to fall, and I never do. Because…WET.

So yesterday we took a break from it all and drove to Tacoma for the annual Holiday Food and Gift Festival at the Tacoma Dome. I’ve attended several times back in the 1990s, and always loved it, even though October is a tough month to get into the holiday season. (But once you’re there, it’s OK). Over those years, I acquired a number of special hand-made Christmas ornaments, centerpieces, gifts, and of course SANTAS for my collection. But it’s been many years since I’ve been. I was really excited, and even though it was fun and interesting, I was overall rather disappointed. The reason for that was because there were a lot less hand-made “crafty” items, and it seemed to be taken over by far too many pyramid-scheme-scammy corporate vendors. I was especially interested in scoping out nice-quality Christmas centerpiece-type decorations that weren’t tacky. I had one in particular that I loved; it was tall with a nice redwood harp intertwined with quality (but faux—silk) greenery with some pine cones and berries. It was very pretty and kind of classy (and not gaudy!), but it finally bit the dust after over a decade or so. I wanted to replace it with something equally as nice.

There was nothing.

I was surprised at how much stuff wasn’t “holiday-ish” at all! More like cheapy touristy crap. And the one booth that had some unique Santas were awfully proud of their wares. One, that was cleverly painted on that light weight wood (what’s it called? Balsa!) of Santa riding a sleigh, that was relatively small (4”?) and was cute but not “all that” was $50! Uhm? I don’t think so. In fact, hell no!

That said, we did find a few things. I found some fun Christmas gifts, and then John found a moose he fell in love with. (He loves mooses). All of the items we purchased WERE hand-made!

He’s pretty cute, in a weird way. And it was fun to pay the little old lady who had made them. (Plus, reasonably priced!) I’m also happy with the gifts I bought, but I’d best not show pictures of them.

But events like this, and including the Washington State Fair in my hometown (which I used to attend every year but haven’t for quite a while) are frustrating these days because they are SO EXPENSIVE. For this event at the Tacoma Dome, parking was $1o, entrance into the event was $13.50 per person, and then many of the ridiculous prices of the vendors. It makes me not feel so bad about hanging out at home so much. It’s nice here.

(Especially when the sun is out, which we won’t see a whole lot of until…July?)

Stormy!

Today was forecast to possibly be as bad as the Columbus Day storm of 1964 (which I vaguely remember—I was about 8 years old). I feel that I should remember that better, but aside from my mom sticking match books in the window sills to reduce the horrific rattling, I must have slept through most of it. The aftermath of that storm was like a hurricane had hit our Pacific Northwest (something we never have to worry about, except that year). 75 to 100 mph winds, which is just killer with all of the trees. Over 50 people died from that storm. That’s what we were bracing for today.

But this storm pretty much pooped out before it hit. Oh, we had some pretty impressive rollers out there in Peale Passage, and the trees were bending pretty good, but I’ve seen much worse. And I’m so relieved that it DID poop out! We had a “lesser” storm yesterday that caused a maple tree to fall on power lines up by the bridge that tore down a huge swath of lines up and down that road. As a result, we were without power for 14 hours yesterday. I was NOT in the mood to contend with that again today!

And we were dumb. We did NOT prepare (aside from candles and flashlights), even though it was in the back of our minds all week, with the local news warnings. John was hell-bent on getting the driveway ready for the first concrete pour and neither of us looked beyond that (even though John couldn’t make that deadline in time for the weather change, and it turned out the concrete guy wasn’t going to be able to get to it anyway). It wasn’t until Thursday (the day before yesterday’s storm) that John said, “I think I’ll go see if I can find a generator.” We used to have one, but it was stolen while our house was under construction. John went all over tarnation trying to find a generator, and they were all sold out everywhere. Of course. Nada. Yesterday sucked.

In fact, it’s been a shitty week overall.

Yesterday’s drenching storm cut a deep rut in the bank that John built up along the new deck stairs, plus tore away a couple of the stair blocks (possibly into the drink).

Yeah, shit.

And then we’ve been struggling with Peanut and diapers. Her body just doesn’t support them very well, she hates them, and she’s adept at “removing” them (somehow).

Did I mention that it’s been a shitty week?

(But I’m more thankful than I can express that we currently have lights! And power to the fridges and freezer! And that the septic pump and the well pump now work!)

Can’t it be summer again?

Bad Man

In the mid-1990s, I was hired as a marketing assistant at a medium-sized architectural firm in downtown Tacoma. The firm designed commercial and public facilities, such as schools, community centers, banks, office buildings, and even military installations. I was familiar with the firm from over 15 years of working for two different mechanical and electrical consulting engineering firms in the area who teamed on projects with this architect. In the architectural/engineering (A/E) world, the architect served as the client to the engineer. I knew from reputation that The Tsang Partnership was renowned and respected for their architectural design, but was run by a difficult man. I also knew from experience that The Tsang Partnership was really crappy about paying their bills from the invoices I would send to them.

I had been wearing the hats of bookkeeper, specification typist/editor, and also marketer for those engineering firms, and juggling all those hats was becoming unmanageable. Too often, the deadlines for the project specifications due to the client plus a marketing proposal to a potential client, plus payroll would all fall at the same time. Prioritizing always made somebody super angry. It seemed that I was constantly in someone’s crosshairs even though I was doing my best to meet tax requirements, scrambling to sort together multiple materials for huge concurrent marketing proposals, making sure all of the employees were paid, making sure all of the invoices were generated and mailed out by a certain date, maintaining the general ledger for the accountant, paying the office bills. It was nuts, and I realized I needed to pick a lane. I decided that lane would be A/E marketing, mostly because I had background and some education in journalism, plus I really enjoyed writing, and technology was emerging into making that profession a lot more appealing than sticking forms into a Selectric typewriter. When a position opened up at The Tsang Partnership, I cringed a bit (knowing the reputation of the owner), but I opted to go for it, even though the pay sucked.

Jim Tsang was a narcissist. He insisted on being called “Mr. Tsang.” (I refused, because I’m a bit of a rebel, plus it was the 1990s, not the 1960s. As a result, he hated me). The lesson of what a narcissist is was profound for me, especially from the point of view of a lowly female working stiff. I had an immediate supervisor whom I admired and respected (and still feel fondly toward to this day). But Jim Tsang made my life utterly miserable.

He was a tall, handsome Chinese man, born and raised in a very wealthy family in Hong Kong. He had a million-dollar smile that he hid from everyone except clients and potential clients. He wore expensive suits and trendy sunglasses, and he was married to golf much more so than he was married to his wife. He was accustomed to servants and treated his entire staff of 30-50 employees (depending on the economy) with the disdain that I’m sure he treated those unfortunate servants.

In an industry where most A/E firms paid their employees on the 15th and the last day of the month, The Tsang Partnership paid their employees only on the last day of the month. And if that date fell on a Saturday or Sunday, we wouldn’t get our checks until the following Monday at 5:00.

He would hold on to our 401-(k) deductions from our paychecks for 90 days before depositing them into our mutual fund accounts so he could make interest on those funds. And we would lose any market increases in our contributions for those entire 90 days. Ninety days after ninety days…

He insisted that we were all “salary” employees, not due any overtime pay, even though we all had to work overtime to meet our deadlines. For the professional staff, that was typical in our industry. But it also applied to those of us who were not professional and who were paid very low wages.

Even though I had an immediate supervisor (whom I revered and we both understood A/E marketing and had mutual respect for each other), Jim Tsang insisted on conducting my annual performance reviews. He knew nothing of what I did, nor did he ever consult with my supervisor beforehand for his input. Jim would berate me, tell me what a piss-poor employee I was, ramble on about many times that he had considered firing me throughout the previous year, and then “reluctantly” decide that I warranted a 1% raise. I would leave his office feeling such relief, and then realize that I’d been had.

There were no female architects. The only female “professionals” were interior designers. The women all sat in middle spaces in the office. Only the men had offices. With windows. With the 11th floor views.

For a couple of years, the economy was tight and there wasn’t any hiring elsewhere, so we all felt trapped. When Jim was in the office, all eyes were aimed toward the floor and shoulders were tight. Nobody talked to each other.

When Jim was out golfing (or wherever), everyone was friendly, snarky, warm, joyful, funny, smart-as-whips. To be honest, I never before or since worked among more enjoyable folks. But everyone folded up when Jim entered the building.

He had a young and pretty (and smart) assistant who worked part time for him and part time tending to Jim’s side business of managing various rentals throughout the area. After getting a hefty ticket skirting the carpool lane during a drive to the Seattle office (from our Tacoma office) by driving on the shoulder, he would grab this young woman (even while she had deadlines to meet) to ride with him so he could drive the carpool lane.

When the economy improved and jobs opened up, the first of several key architects left the firm. Jim trashed his office after the guy gave his notice—threw chairs, kicked the walls, flung objects d’ art from his desk.

I witnessed him having a meltdown with a fax machine in the workroom. Something obviously didn’t go right, and he kicked the fax machine, then picked it up and threw it at the 11th floor window. Thankfully, the window didn’t break.

He threatened to kill me. The reason was absurd (and too complicated to go into here), but I remember just glaring at him, shaking my head, and moving on because I had a deadline I had to meet.

When the second key architect of the firm gave his notice, Jim called an all-staff meeting in the conference room and threatened us to never have any contact with the guy, ever. “If you have a going-away party for him, or have any contact with him, I will fire you.” That evening after work, we ALL gathered at a bar with this great guy for the best going-away party EVER.

I remember one Christmas season after being verbally abused by this man, going home that night from work. Picking Nate up from daycare. Pulling out the Christmas decorations to start setting up. And falling apart, sobbing. Little arms hugging me. I remember feeling so low. So low.

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You’ve experienced something similar, right? These people are everywhere, and typically in positions of power. Typically a boss.

Is this the kind of person you want to be the leader of our country? Remember your misery, your sense of helplessness, your fury. Let alone if there was a sexual predatory aspect to this.

How can anybody feel that’s OK?

It Actually Does Apply to Me

He was my boss. He and his wife were also friends with my then-husband and I. We had kids the same age. We got together at each other’s homes for dinners and Pictionary. I liked him, as a good friend. I liked his wife, and I was there when his kids were born. He was there when my kid was born. We were two 30-something couples who really enjoyed each other’s company. I was grateful to him for hiring my husband, and then later hiring me, after a bad experience at a firm where we had all previously worked together. In spite of everything, I always did feel grateful about that.

I’ve spent these years feeling that I was somewhat complicit because…I didn’t say ‘no’ loud enough? That I didn’t fight him off? That I didn’t put my foot down, put the hammer down, got “bitchy” enough to draw the hell-no line? That my feeling of gratitude for the jobs (and then later emotional support when that husband left me for a younger co-worker) “trumped” my distress?

But he was my boss. And my job and my husband’s job were tied to him.

It never went too far, but it went far enough. And it made me feel sick. And weirdly helpless. Because…who would believe me? Who would I even tell? Was it really that big of a deal? Was my mortification warranted?

Tonight, with all that is in the news, I realized it was.

An Open Letter to Donald Trump

Dear Donald Trump,

I will not accept your apology for bragging about sexually assaulting women. In fact, as a woman, I strongly reject it until you stand up and apologize to everyone you need to ask for forgiveness. I'm going to start the list for you here, knowing that it’s not even close to the full account of those you've hurt.

But this is where you can begin:

To everyone you denied housing to with that ugly little code-letter C for Colored;

To the then 15-year-olds Yusef Salaam and Antron McCray, 14-year-olds Raymond Santana and Kevin Richardson, and 16-year-old Korey Wise. You took out full-page newspaper ads calling to reinstate the death penalty before their trials. They’ve all been exonerated based on DNA evidence. I want you to apologize to them for your behavior decades ago but also for your behavior now. As of this week, you’re still publicly insisting that they’re guilty. Stop it. Apologize.

To Khizr and Ghazala Khan, father of the Muslim US soldier killed in combat, U.S. Army Captain Humayan Khan, Recipient of a Purple Heart and Bronze Star Medal.

To all our soldiers and Veterans because when you tore down U.S. Army Captain Humayan Khan, you tore all of them down.

To all of our POWs. How dare you denigrate their enormous sacrifice. You should include a public apology to Senator McCain.

To all who suffer PTSD. How dare you -- having never seen a moment of combat -- insinuate that they're weak.

To all those who are disabled, their families and loved ones. I’ve been awed by their toughness. You should be too.

To Serge Kovaleski, the New York Times reporter who you openly mocked on film and then lied about it, as if a lie is a kind of apology.

To my daughters, my sisters, my mother, and the women I admire and rely on. To all of us in this country. I don’t just want your apology for bragging about assaulting them -- you're comments are sickening. I want apologies to all the women you’ve called dogs and pigs and slobs and Miss Piggy, to all the women you've demeaned and belittled when the mic didn't catch you.

To Rosie O’Donnell, Megyn Kelly, Elizabeth Warren, Ruth Bader Ginsberg—and Hillary Clinton for suggesting to your angry crowds that someone shoot her. Twice.

To President Obama for years of your racist birther rhetoric and to all of us for lying about those years – on film – of pushing your racist birther rhetoric.

To the women of the future who you want to punish for seeking abortions, to all the women who’ve had abortions and had to hear your call for punishment,

To our rich history – to the immigrants who came to this country and flourished.

To all of the immigrants who make our country stronger every day.

To all the immigrant families that will be torn apart under your plan.

To my fellow Muslim Americans. In fact, I want an apology to Freedom of Religion itself. It’s one of the principles this country was founded on.

To all those who have already been affected by the hate-mongering that you incites. To the brokenness we’ve already suffered because of the hatefulness of your rhetoric.

To the Black Lives Matters Movement.

To the entire community of people of color. I want an apology for not condemning David Duke and white supremacists.

To Colin Kaepernick. He doesn’t need to go looking for another country to live in – as you said like a third-grader on a playground. Kaepernick is peacefully and patriotically fighting for the best version of this country.  

To the LGBTQ community who need to have their rights protected, not threatened by a president who would strongly consider appointing judges to overthrow marriage equality.

To the transgender community who need to be protected in every state in the country, treated with equal access to everything from bathrooms to employment, fair housing, healthcare, and education.

To all the people you’ve stiffed, refusing to pay what you owe – carpenters, dishwashers, painters, glass company workers, a plumber, waiters, real estate brokers… I want an apology to your own lawyers.

To all those you’ve bullied with lawsuits, knowing that the costs wouldn’t affect you but would ruin them.

To all those you’ve ruined.

To your first two wives, both of whom alleged that you were abusive.

To all the people you could have helped if you’d actually donated to all the places you’ve lied about donating to – including your own foundation.

To all of the good things in our country that would have been made stronger if you’d actually paid your tax bill instead of desperately cashing in loopholes – our schools, our research community searching for cures for cancer, our police and firefighters, our hospitals, our infrastructure, our social programs…

To everyone who actually does pay their taxes fairly – without searching desperately for loopholes.

To those who pay taxes because it’s simply the law and to those who pay them because they believe it’s how we keep our country stable, on the most basic level; it’s how we thrive and grow; and it’s how we care for each other during the toughest of times. 

To all the students who paid for classes in Drumpf University, not just the ones who are suing the university for being a sham.

To the environment. I want an acknowledgement that you said that global warming is a hoax – it’s on tape – and I want you to apologize to lying. Apologize to the environment, our world.  

To all those who’ve died of gun violence and all their loved ones

I want you to apologize for your terrifying comments on nuclear weapons. I want you to apologize to our allies for your unhinged, off-the-cuff comments on major international issues.

I want you to apologize for your comments on reinstating torture and killing the innocent families of terrorists, which has only strengthened terrorists’ claims against us, made it easier to recruit, and made us more of a target.

I want you to apologize to the nation of young people who've had to hear all of your hideous comments and to their parents, many of whom had to explain the ugliness of the world to their children, the ugliness that you have embodied, day after day, insult after insult, vulgarity after vulgarity.  
I want you to apologize to boys who, from watching and listening to you, might have gotten the mistaken impression that bullying and lying and bragging about assaulting women and assaulting women have anything to do with being a good man.

To all those who have dedicated their lives to journalism, foregoing more lucrative careers, because they wanted to dedicate themselves to giving witness, to digging for the truth.

I want an apology to the Freedom of the Press.

I want an apology to the truth itself.

I want you to sit in a room and watch the tapes of everything you've stated -- many times over knowingly on camera -- that you then lied about having said, also all on camera. I want Americans to be able to watch you watch those tapes, back-to-back, and for you to acknowledge all of the bold-faced lies and apologize to the American people, once and for all.    

And, in honor of the truth, I want you to apologize to all those who have supported you. You’ve lied to them and incited them to violence and the rest of us won’t accept that behavior as it spills out; they’re going to find their lives much harder – in their workplace, in society, in their schools, in the legal system…

I don’t expect you to understand my stance. You divide and categorize people, but most of us see ourselves as part a beautifully diverse country. We take care of each other and we stand up for each other.  When you set your sights on one group of Americans, you tear us all down, piece by piece. And when we stand up for each other, we mend those tears and become stronger. 

This is what standing up for others looks like. This is what stronger together looks like.

-Julianna Baggott

(she speaks for me).

Updates

A week ago we had our annual neighborhood potluck (and road committee meeting), held at our neighbors’, the Mees, who have a beautiful home. It was great to see everyone! Several property owners along our road are weekenders (like we were for all those years—over a decade!), so we don’t see them very often. In fact, some only come down and tent-camp a couple of times in the summer. I really do enjoy these get-togethers; they are all such nice folks. There is always a lot of laughter and bright, intriguing conversation. Even the weather unexpectedly cooperated.

There is one couple that we only see at these annual potlucks whom I’ve always enjoyed and connected with from the beginning. They have two dachshunds, they have one son who just graduated from college, and they are about 5 years younger than we are (probably the youngest of all of us). We saw them passing by on the beach and waved them up to see the house (they weren’t able to attend the potluck last year when we hosted it). The weenie dogs all got along well, and even Sam the Yorkie came to visit (I think he was confused because one of their weenie dogs looks a LOT like Bailey). We had a great visit! And it was another beautiful day.

John has finished the deck stairs and man it looks nice! It’s so pleasant to finally be able to have that access now. I haven’t traversed that route for years because it was so steep and gravelly and I just knew I’d face-plant if I tried.

As a reminder, this is how it used to look:

This is from the top of the steps looking down. Wylie loves to run around on the blocks:

We’re not far from having the driveway poured—basically waiting on the concrete guy to return from elk hunting so we can set a date and have a couple of days to move our cars to the top of the property and John can get the drainage pipe in place.

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It’s been quite a week with a fair amount of angst with geriatric DOGS. Peanut’s leaking bladder is driving me up the wall with the STENCH and having to fruitlessly MOP and frequently bathe, and face going the diaper route (which does NOT make me happy because it’s not going to alleviate the STENCH) (or anything else). Then, Bailey’s incessant scratching/digging/gnawing is making me insane. Mount St. Tonya is on the verge of erupting.

I’ve also discovered a very interesting development in my family tree project with recent DNA results. Somebody back in my grandfather’s youthful years (one of his brothers? Him?) apparently sired a son that nobody knew about! I’ll write more about this once I’ve connected and verified more dots. Needless to say, this has been a bit jaw-dropping!

And then yesterday, John and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. The weather was crappy so we didn’t do anything particularly exciting, but we did go out for lunch and then picked up some groceries, including a nice bunch of steamer clams. Normally we eat dinner with John on the couch in front of the TV and me at my computer station (where I can also view the TV). But last night we sat at the dining table and enjoyed our buttery/clammy meal. It was luscious!

Earlier this week we had a glorious sunny day and ventured down on the beach. We noticed Mojo at the neighbors’ house, way up high on their bank. He spotted us and absolutely FLEW down that bank, across their super long parallel logs they use for beach access, and joined us. As did Wylie! (And of course the dogs). Peanut’s stamina is definitely fading, although she did pretty darned good on the beach.

Here are some pics of our fabulous beach walk:

And here is a quick video of all the animals! (Coming...I guess I have to upload it to YouTube first).

Finally!! (It's pretty cute):