Kingfisher Cove

A Day of….Infamy?

First of all, there’s this. And yes, it does say 108 degrees, I kid you not.

And… on this hottest day ever…I was laid off from my job. Is it related to the weird turnaround my boss did on me these past couple of weeks? I dunno. Could be a chicken & egg thing. It’s possible she got wind of having to let someone go in the department (because I wasn’t the only one let go  — at least three other departments did, too, and what I was told was each department had to give a name of someone to lay off). And so did she do the turn-around to justify it to herself? Again, I dunno. All I do know is that I got the newsletter published online today and I received kudos from people around the company for the articles I’d written, as well as from the graphics artist who was totally aware of what all I did to make it happen. And I did a good job, did it in plenty of time, and actually felt excited about it.

How do I feel? Rather bewildered. This was one of the reasons I really hedged about pursuing this job; I sensed it could possibly be considered expendable in dire times. And our company is going through some dire times. The stimulus package is mostly aimed toward shovel-ready projects, and as a design firm, we’re not seeing much of it. And our clients, who are mostly public agencies, have funding drying up with the tax base drastically diminished, with what is available going to immediate construction jobs.

Truth be known, I also feel some relief.

OK, so now I’m back to cleaning house and being “domestic.” (Need to “fire” the cleaning lady….) In spite of reeling, I’m also ready to embrace that for a while. And then? Who knows what.

At least I don’t have to feel any guilt now about taking 3 days off in August to go to Nate’s Navy Boot Camp graduation…

Just Sayin’

(And sweatin’!)

Wish I Was There

What a gorgeous weekend it was! I sure hated to see it end, but it seemed to zip by, as super weekends are wont to do. As you know, I’d been absolutely dreading the start of this work-week and I am happy to report that today (really the most dreaded day of all because of the pressure on my plate) actually wasn’t all that terrible. True, I didn’t get a lunch hour, and I did work a little late. But I managed to get our intranet newsletter all laid out in Dreamweaver and other than a little tweaking tomorrow, it should easily be good for the “click-n-go-live” by the end of the day. I had the graphics designer hang over my shoulder while I did it, offering her guidance and expertise and I learned so much. (I now finally know how to get rid of those pesky white backgrounds in logos and other graphics in Photoshop!) It did me a world of good. I’m still no Speedy Gonzales (which I’m expected to be!) but at least I feel that I finally have a grip on things and I’m not totally floundering in a sea of ignorance. I hate feeling ignorant. (And having it held against me…) I’m exhausted (it’s a lot of work and not at all easy), but I’m definitely feeling better about things. And I can almost see a time in the future where I can actually enjoy it. (Once I AM a Speedy Gonzales!)

We are in the midst of one crazy heat wave. Ugh. Us Washingtonians are not accustomed to such things! It was 99 degrees driving along the Valley freeway on my way home from work at 5:30. And it’s supposed to get hotter as this week progresses. Already I sense the A/C  in our house having a tough time keeping up. It’ll probably be kaput by Thursday. And there are many many folks in this state — most folks — who do not have A/C because these kinds of heat waves are just not common. However, I think of how often we do use our A/C and I’m sure glad to have it, even when the temps are in the 80s which isn’t all that uncommon in summer. I also remember a time when people here rarely had A/C in their cars, for the same reason (not enough hot days to warrant it). And yet most everyone does now.

Have I mentioned that we have our travel arrangements all set for Nate’s Boot Camp graduation? (And have secured the EARNED vacation time off from work, even though my boss isn’t happy about it….) I sure hope everything is going as planned and that he’s on track for his August 21st graduation. I haven’t heard from him. No more phone calls since the one I missed, and no new letters since the one he wrote July 15th when he had his wisdom teeth pulled. Pout. Nothing sadder than an empty mail box. (Well, except for snail-mail spam and bills…)

Think I’ll have some cold sliced cucumbers in balsamic vinegar…(yum!)

OK! I Will TRY!

…to be a leeeetle more on the positive side.

I don’t even mind that this weekend is HOT. I really don’t! I’m in awe of how wonderful, amazing, stellar this summer has been — all of May, June, and July have been jaw-dropping. True, 90-deg. temperatures are a bit much to handle around these parts, where we’re just not accustomed to it! And we’re told that the upcoming days just MIGHT hit that 100-deg. mark. Geesh. And then there’s my friend in Maine who has had the wood stove going, has been wearing sweaters, and has described the oh-so-familiar POURING RAIN that has been occurring there on a constant basis. It’s like we’ve switched coasts! Like a polar flip, except latitudinal! WTF?

Here it is afternoon on Sunday, and in a couple of hours we’ll be off our butts packing up to head home. I’m so dreading tomorrow (work day) that I’ve spent far too much time of this gorgeous day in the bathroom. On a *positive note* at least it’s relatively cool in said bathroom, what with the A/C pumping in the trailer. But I've also spent as much time as possible this weekend out here on the deck (yes, in the heat, but in as much shade as possible, AND with a little fan blowing on me). The view is heavenly. It would totally be healing if it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve been stewing about the weekend ending all weekend long… and that end is now in sight. (CHANGE GEARS!)

I did say I’d TRY, right?

I’ve had my iPhone near my side all weekend, hoping for another call from Nate, but it hasn’t happened (yet). I’m hoping there will be a letter from him when we get home (forgot to check Friday night before we headed down here). We’re on the down-slide! He’s been at boot camp over half-way now, and I’m just counting the days until his PIR (Pass In Review…graduation). He still has a lot to go through between now and then, including firefighting training, which is very intense. And towards the very end, they have what is called “Battle Stations.” It’s the culmination of everything they have learned in boot camp. It isn’t until they have passed it — which is a 36-hour grueling ordeal — that they are officially sailors. Once they are told they have passed, they are allowed a 15-second phone call home to “state” that they are now a sailor, and we’ll then know for absolute certain that he’ll be graduating.

And with that, do you know that these recruits (who not only work their asses off but only gross about $1,200/month) are required to PAY for their uniforms? At a cost of $1,500! It’s taken out of their paychecks! I was just seething when I heard about this. Oh, yes, I can just hear the politicians bragging to the well-heeled republicans that “we will save taxpayers money,” on the backs of our young recruits who can’t EVEN make any kind of living…

Hmm. Still grumpy. Maybe the heat is getting to me after all.

Trying To Wrap My Head Around Heavy-Heartedness

These last two weeks have been utterly grueling. Because this blog is just a few degrees away from Twitter which is just a few degrees away from Facebook where many of my coworkers hang out, I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty of it all for obvious reasons. But heavy-hearted is sure the name of the game right now. I am overwhelmed, disappointed, and constantly on the brink of tears. Add to that Nate’s absence (and missing that damned phone call) and having my self-esteem in the toilet — well, it’s not a good recipe. And here it is the most marvelous summer (weather-wise) I believe we’ve ever had here in Washington! And I can hardly appreciate it.

I can’t even escape at lunch anymore (to read my beloved Kindle!) because I’ve been told that “taking” a lunch hour is an indication of a poor work ethic. I’m just blown away.

(Truth be known? If I had actually taken Nate’s call on Monday, I would have definitely heard about it — and not in a good way).

So…I’ll try to focus on the positive. I DID get a letter from Nate yesterday, and I was so very tickled! It was written a week ago (this snail mail ordeal is taking a lot of getting used to when we’re in such a culture of immediate gratification!) and he’d had two wisdom teeth pulled, poor guy! He was on “SIQ” which means Sick in Quarters, for three days. He also had a cold, which has been going around the training command like gangbusters. He also somehow wrenched his knee, so he was very relieved to have a few days to rest (with excellent meds!) It won’t affect his graduation date or anything. A whole bunch of the recruits all had wisdom teeth pulled plus were dealing with that creepy crud going around. The wrenched knee has me a little concerned; if he’s hampered with all that’s required of him, that could affect his graduation date (push it back). I just hope that it’s just tender and not anything seriously wrong with it. But otherwise he sounds upbeat, philosophical, and very very happy to be receiving my letters!  And I absolutely love his letters! Written communication is so very different from verbal, and in my view, it’s often much better and more “real.” Nate talks very fast and it’s hard to catch everything he says, plus he tends to talk over people. But his letters really flow and he expresses himself so well. (Personally, I’d rather deal with the fast talk and be talked over in person, but since this is how it must be, it does have a silver lining!)

OK, one more positive thing! I wrote an article for our newsletter about (another!) complex, intricate, and potentially boring subject (regarding one of the services we’re now providing). I’d interviewed the key guy for over an hour on the phone yesterday and came away with a wealth of information. So yesterday afternoon I wrote up a draft of the article and sent it to him for his review and input, and he wrote back today and said, “I wanted to let you know, Tonya, that this was very well-written and perfectly conveyed exactly what we’re doing.” At least I can do SOMETHING right.

And…tomorrow is Friday and we’re heading to Harstine where it’s supposed to be in the 90s! Wow.

Today at work my cell phone rang! I pounced on that thing, just knowing it was Nate! Finally! But it was a WRONG NUMBER. It was pretty much symbolic of my entire day…

Heartsick and Stupid

I was busy and focused at work today, hunched over my computer as usual, slaving away. In the background I kept hearing somebody’s cell phone ringing, over and over again. In the back of my mind I thought, Boy, M has sure been away from her desk for a long time. I wonder who keeps trying to call her? But again, I was focused and didn’t think much about it, other than listening to that ringing cell phone got to be a little annoying after a while.

And then I suddenly stiffened up and went OH EFFING SHIT.

I grabbed my iPhone and peered at it and sure enough. It had been MY cell phone ringing, and it was NATE. Only it wasn’t ringing anymore. And it never rang again. (And no, you can’t return calls to boot camp).

The ringer volume was low, and so it sounded like it was coming from a distance away, like a cubicle on the other side of the hallway. Also? I don’t get many calls on my phone and I’m just not familiar with my ring tone. I didn’t recognize it at all.

I have been beating myself up about this all day long. Every time the thought enters my mind I feel like some organ is dislodging from inside my body, you know, like my pancreas or my liver or just maybe MY HEART.

I can’t even blame it on being in a meeting because I wasn’t! That damned phone was sitting on the back counter of my cubicle, ringing and ringing and ringing. Directly behind me. 

Sometimes I’m afraid that I may be losing it.

Testing From My iPhone!

I'm trying out this Typepad app for blogging from my iPhone.

A Nate Update!

I received two letters from him yesterday! (Woohoo!) One of them was dated July 3rd. It took 13 days for that letter to arrive from Great Lakes, IL? What’s up with that? Anyway, he sounds good and I was so relieved because his phone call last Sunday was sad and emotional. Some quotes:

“I’ve managed to stay off the RDC’s (recruit division commander) no-screaming-at-you-side, though I have been called a dumb ass on more than one occasion.”

“Some of the recruits here are pretty young and dumb. They think this is more of a game than it really is. Our division, which consists of 86 males, is pretty out-of-shape and they consistently push the line. The RDCs have an effective way to deal with this. Instead of punishing the culprit, they punish the other 85 recruits. Personally, I dig the physically strenuous punishments. They are like a new way of working out!”

“We got our vaccinations the other day. That sucked! Like, five needles one after the other!”

“Food here is amazing! Better than I expected. Three square meals a day and getting told we’re worthless pieces of F$%!ing S&!*t and that we will never amount to a thing in this Navy. :o)  Just playing the game!”

“My humor still shines through even though there are few and far times to laugh. I’ve made friends and alliances that will last a lifetime.”

He described the swimming qualifications he had to pass, which made me cringe with the clarity of his narration (the kid writes darned well!) This was a huge thing for him. Nate is quite athletic with a lean and buff body, but swimming has never been his forte. He learned the basics from lessons when he was kid, but never excelled at it. There were three things they had to do to pass the swim quals: 1) Step off a 10-foot platform and swim 50 meters using a combo of four strokes; 2) A prone float where one floats face down for five minutes taking breaths every now and again; and 3) Don a pair of coveralls and lie in the prone position again, holding the left side open and slapping the water with the right hand creating an air bubble in the back. Then pinch the coveralls tight at the neck and float around for a few seconds. He handled #1 just fine, but the five-minute prone float intimidated the “shit” out of him and he failed it. It upset him in a big way. “After the initial feeling of failure, I often wondered if I could do the swim thing, let alone boot camp in general. It was my first major failure and it had me heartbroken.” Then he said they had a little learning session about goals and that was where he determined that he was going to pass the stupid five-minute prone float — or drown! “I was scared, of course, as my turn came up, but I sucked it up and I made it.” He said that’s been a turning point for him, being able to triumph like that over adversity.

I miss him so much. And it broke my heart when at the end of the letter he said, “Please write! I’m desperate for mail!”

I’m certain by now that that need has been somewhat satisfied, since I’ve sent him 11 letters!

I’ve made flight, hotel, and car rental arrangements for JDub and I to attend his graduation (PIR - “Pass In Review”) on August 21st, and then spend the weekend with him for Liberty leave before heads to San Diego. I’m really excited about it, but I am nervous about asking my boss for the three days off to attend, even though I have plenty of vacation.  NOT my beloved Ms. Jodie Foster, that’s for sure…

Trying to Focus on Good Things

And actually, there were a few of them  today. I received Nate’s first letter! I don’t think he’s ever written me a letter before, now that I think of it. As you can see, it was extremely short and got sweeter as he went on. (Started out with the list of things NOT to send to him because he only has an inch of space! I already knew all that). Something tells me that they have their drill instructor hanging over their shoulder during the 15 minutes or so they’re allowed to write, shouting things about what to write. (“And tell them to NEVER send you any food or packages because We’ll Make You Pay!”) Probably the Jeopardy theme song was also playing in the background. Loud.

Then, with much trepidation, I stood on the scale at our Weight Watchers meeting and much to my surprise I actually lost 1.5 lbs. after our week’s vacation! How about that? I did pay attention (for the most part) about what I ate and how much of it, and I didn’t snack quite as much as I normally would. But still, I really thought I was in for it.

And finally, I had a mani and a pedi today after work. They were both desperately needed! I’m not real fond of having them done (my feet are hella ticklish), but the end result looks so pretty and feels so good!

So…that does it for the good things. The rest of the day sucked in a big way. I felt old, slow, and stupid. Self-esteem is rather in the commode.

Oh What A Day

Our last full day of vacation and it was a lovely one! We saddled up the weenie dogs (with their handy-dandy life jackets) and went for a ride in the fast red boat all around the island. It’s about a 26-mile trip! We actually didn’t go all that fast (until the very end); we cruised and looked at the houses and enjoyed the scenery without having blurred vision from air blasting in our eyes! We also ventured over to Squaxin Island and pulled ashore for a brief leg-stretch, something you’re really not supposed to do. The island is owned by the Squaxin Tribe and it’s totally uninhabited and people aren’t supposed to go there. We pulled up at an area that used to be a State park years ago and JDub used to hang out there when he was a kid growing up in Olympia. We found a couple of agates, the dogs ran around a bit, and then we discovered THIS:

Bet you can’t guess what it is! It’s the end of the neck of a geoduck (pronounced gooey-duck) clam! The clam itself is way down below and they extend their necks to the surface to feed. And the clams themselves are really big.  Ugly, too! But quite the delicacy, I hear. I’ve never eaten one. JDub used to catch them as a kid on his grandparents’ Olympia beach which he said was quite the feat since they are at a very low tide, very far down, and you have to dig down beside them and beat the tide.

I’ll show a few prettier pictures of our boat ride at the end of my post.

Yesterday we were sitting on the deck and I heard this crashing in the woods behind us and there emerged a doe and her fawn right in the spot where my brother’s Taj Mahal tent was set up on the 4th of July. “Mom” saw us and peered at us and twitched her ears as I attempted to snap a few pictures with my iPhone with a young Douglas Fir tree in my way. They were beautiful! I was thankful the dogs didn’t notice them; they would have barked at them and chased them away. As it was, they watched us for a quite a while then sauntered on down the path and literally disappeared.

Yesterday afternoon we ran into town and one of the items we picked up was a bell collar for Mojo. (It’s black with a “bow tie,” actually pretty cute, although you don’t really see it on him). He’s been catching a lot of chipmunks (as well as birds and mice) and while the mice are fine, we would very much appreciate it if he didn’t catch the chipmunks or birds! Makes us just sick when he does. We were calling him Mr. Mo Jangles! He actually didn’t seem to mind it too much and we could hear him, well, jangling in the dark. This morning JDub was greeted with the collar intact, unbuckled, on the deck in front of the trailer door! Kind of like “Up Yours!” (And how the hell did that collar become unbuckled??) I put it back on him later today and so far so good. But…it’s since started to rain and so he’s not out gallivanting tonight.

In fact…what a character he is! He’s decided that the next door neighbor’s Yorkie is quite a novelty. Sam, the Yorkie, feels the same way about Mojo and yet knows somewhere deep down in his doggie brain that he’s supposed to chase a cat. He gives it a good try, that’s for sure. But Mojo just sits there, peering at him, making Sam come to a skidding stop. This evening after having a delicious dinner and margaritas with some of our other neighbors, our next door neighbors arrived after having to work today, so we met them on the beach in front of a bon fire. We were heading down our path to the beach and here was Sam-the-Yorkie and Mojo-the-Cat tag-teaming with us down the path!  Mojo joined the party! I was just marveling at him. Normally he hides out somewhere when other dogs besides the weenies are around, but curiosity got the best of him. I just got such a kick out of him teasing that little dog and hanging out with all of us on the beach.

So, JDub and I have discovered yet ANOTHER super time-waster: the game “Bejeweled” I downloaded to my iPhone. It is scary-addicting. And really a lot of fun! JDub covets my iPhone…

Wow, do I ever need a mani, pedi, haircut, and color! I’m going to TRY to get them all taken care of this week! On the other hand, I’m dreading Tuesday because it will be my Weight Watchers weigh-in. Hmm. I haven’t done “turrible-turrible” this vacation week, but I certainly haven’t done great, either.

Here’s hoping there’s a letter in the mail from Nate when we get home tomorrow…(and I have a ton to send him, too!)

Boat ride pics: (click for a little bigger pictures)

Peanut the Sea Dog!

Lots of seagull shit from being buoyed all week. (OK, this is just about as “pretty” as the geoduck….)

Raggedy Ass Point at the southern tip of Harstine Island. (Yes, that’s really what it’s called).

Can you see Mount Rainier in the background? It was a little hazy today.

JDub on “forbidden” Squaxin Island! (We’re so naughty!) That’s Harstine behind him.

We encountered PIRATES! (See the flag in back?)

Nice boat!

  That is one heckuva staircase to the beach. And especially UP from the beach.

Stunning day, it really was! (Until the clouds moved in tonight around the bon fire and it started to thunder and lightning!)

Preparing to take the boat out of the water. *sniff*