Kingfisher Cove

Fixing Things

I’ve been pissing and moaning for over two weeks now about this $%#@+! marketing proposal I’m working on with absolutely no input from the technical staff to enable me to not only meet the deadline without having to collapse from stress at the 11th hour, but to prepare a quality document that reflects the professionalism of the company as well as be something that I can take some personal pride in. I know you know how much I’ve been pissing and moaning about it! However, you’ve basically heard the condensed and wind-shrill tip of the iceberg. Poor JDub has been subjected to the guttural, demonic, hate-filled depths of that same (bottomless) iceberg.

We’ve been ICQing each other in the mornings before he heads to work. (It’s our only means of communication throughout the day anymore – except for maybe a brief exchange of emails while he’s at work at night). Once again I vented (about the iceberg). Our conversation went pretty much like this:

~~~

JDub: You need to not worry about something you have no control over.

TDub (me): I know that [in my head], but I also know that the responsibility of meeting the deadline and all that entails – at the 11th hour – will fall directly on my shoulders, so this really pisses me off. [Twirling my thumbs now, turning into a ravaging, foaming-at-the-mouth banshee at the last moment, even though that could have been prevented, but the fact is, shit runs downhill].

JDub: You need to refuse to take responsibility over this. Tell [micromngr boss lady] that this is unacceptable, and if she disagrees, take it up with [Mr. Head Honcho]. Let her know you have no problem going over her head.

~~~

So I peered at my ICQ screen at what he’d said, and I was filled with love toward this man. My heart totally swelled. I really don’t know if he was actually outraged at how I was being treated and what I was going through, or whether he was just sick to death of hearing me “whining” about the issue, but he sure did come through with the manly thing to do: Fix it. (John Gray was so right about that – women listen and empathize with venting, men want to fix the problem).

As us women know, from where we sit in a work-related issue like this, the only “fix” is to have power, and we tend not to have that. The only way I would have that kind of power in the situation I’m dealing with, would be to have enough money where I didn’t have to work. And I could then put my foot down (reasonable as I feel my demands would be, they would not be considered reasonable coming from a subordinate. Again, it’s that “shit runs downhill” thing). I think us women in our department (who have become really close over the past months because of all the frustration and unfairness we endure every day) understand that venting releases some of the frustration, having others empathize with you helps to calm and validate us, but unless we’re willing or able to walk away from our jobs, there really is no fix. JDub said “You need to refuse to take responsibility over this.” Well, it’s my job to take that responsibility. Regardless of the abuse or trauma or frustration or unfairness – it’s my responsibility to get this thing out the door. And if it’s not a quality piece, I will hear about it in my performance review. (And miss a deadline? It’s never happened. People in our group have worked well past midnight to make sure it’s never happened. It does make me angry that that’s the status quo, but without the support of Micromngr Boss Lady or Mr. Head Honcho, this is the hand we're dealt, so we either live with it or find another job -- which I know from experience would mean the same ol' thing).

So, I really didn’t know how to respond to JDub’s ICQ message – I sat there all grinny with love, as well as frustrated with the reality of it all, but I didn’t know what to say back. Thankfully he changed the subject:

JDub: Hey! I saved $200/hour by fixing my own ball joints on the Durango this morning!

Now that’s the kind of fixing I can respond to!  What a guy.

I Be Playin'

Here I was thinking I was sort of wasting time, having way too much fun, piddling away the evening.  But then I realized that what I was doing had some merit, albeit selfish seasonal merit.  Hey, I gotta get in the spirit somehow.  I finalized and printed off my Christmas newsletter.  And then... I've been creating a bunch of holiday gift tags.  I haven't been able to find anything lately that grabs me, and I figured Hey!  I can make my own!  And so I set up a template in InDesign and I've been having a good ol' time.  I wouldn't call these works of art by any means, but they do feature images that I hold dear, like weenie dogs and the like.  (Have I mentioned lately how much I *love* InDesign???)  I may even make some with little photos -- maybe of Nate!  Heh heh.  I do need to pick me up some festive envelopes for my newsletter.  I've decided to forgo cards this year.  I used to buy cards and then insert the newsletter.  Eh. 

Speaking of "eh", our maybe-forecasted snowfall was downright lame.   I have to say I was relieved to not wake up to that eerie light-white sensation in the house that's a dead give-away that it snowed overnight.  But once I arrived at work and discovered that the technical guy working with me (supposedly) on my proposal was out of the office yet again today, I started wishing that it would snow.  Big time.  And then... it did!  Woohoo!  I love going outside for a smoke when it's snowing.  My coworker friend, Di, accompanied me and we stood out there being silly.  I had to catch some flakes on my tongue.  And then Di had to say, "You know.  You really ought to stand a little further out from the building than that..."  What I immediately realized she meant was that there's bird shit above us (and often birds shitting above us) and I had all kinds of images beyond just simply acid rain snow.  And so then we got the giggles.  Here I am 49 years old, and she's 48, and what is it about the snow that brings out childishness?  It's true it's a novelty around here, but I remember when I lived in Maine where it certainly isn't a novelty, it affected people the same way!  (And yes, high school kids running to the windows to peer out, even though they dealt with the stuff 8 months out of the year!) 

So anyway, that bit of excitement lasted about a half hour.  It was sticking, too!  But after a half hour, it was done, melted, and that was all she wrote.  Back to dreary rain.  I was surprised at how bereft I felt.  My heart felt heavy!  Other places got some notable accumulation, but not us.  No fair!

In possible preparation for not being able to get to work due to inclement weather, I did set up my remote access to our company's server tonight.  Tested it out and it works just great!  I have access to everything I need, so long as the power is up and running.  (My laptop battery only gives me about an hour's worth, tops -- pretty bad).  I'd been hearing that it could get below freezing tonight, but unless my outdoor thermometer is toast, it's over 50 degrees out there right now!  Hmm.

Snow.....Maybe?

It's kinda sorta in the forecast.  If this happens, then it's possible!  If that happens, maybe not!  And if you live here, you may see some.  But if you live there, fuggedaboudit!  (Well, probably). 

I guess the uncertainty is still better than living in the midwest with blizzards spawning freezing tornadoes.  But the uncertainty is frustrating and stressful.  I really need to be at work tomorrow, but I won't be driving in it if it's anywhere near spooky out there.  Our driveway is steep and empties directly onto a busy road, and I like my Bug (and myself) enough to not want to damage either for the sake of getting a marketing proposal done that NOBODY ELSE HAS HAD ANY INCLINATION TO PROVIDE THE TECHNICAL ASPECTS OF.  I know that sentence sucks, but like Margaret, I am majorly disgruntled.  I'm beginning to wonder if I'm expected to write a fiction piece for this proposal.  I could do that.  Pretty easily, in fact.  But I really don't think that's the idea, even though I wouldn't know it based on the absolute lack of response from the technical staff who make the Big Bucks.  There are holes in this thing like chasms, and it needs to be signed, sealed, and delivered by Friday.  With a whole bunch of hours of work inbetween to even get close to that point. 

And if it snows tonight and driving is treacherous in the morning?  Well, I'll put on my snowmobile clothing and boots and take a nice, leisurely walk in it.  And try not to feel stressed.  Try to be a kid and just enjoy the moment.  It's been years since I've made a snowman.

And this whole snow contemplating-thing may well be moot.  Probably.

Christmas??? Oh, Jesus!

Well, yeah, I suppose the title to this post could be construed as blasphemous.  But actually, it's an expression of shock and surprise.  Because.... the season is now upon us and I really can no longer ignore that fact, or bury myself in denial.  I've always been a Christmas-loving sort of girl, but this year I'm having a tough go of it, at least so far.  It's come upon us so fast, and I just haven't quite let go of our wonderful summer!  I know I need to do that -- the world keeps turning, but I just haven't been.  Time to move along, little doggie! 

And speaking of which, I really want to get my hands on this holiday card!  It was just an image I Googled and I don't know where it came from, but those eyes are sooooo Peanut.

Anyway, I can't get over the number of Christmas trees I saw on the tops of cars over the weekend -- normally I don't start seeing that until at least the first actual December weekend.  (It's still November!  Will those things last a full month?)  And then on the way home from Harstine tonight, there were Christmas lights everywhere!  Some really decked-out places already.  Man.  I haven't even wrapped my mind around the idea of having all the Christmas bins hauled up from the dungeon.  Let alone putting the tree up.  Let alone wrapping presents!  It's true that I have begun Christmas shopping, but it doesn't feel festive yet.  Everything is still in the boxes they arrived in (with bubble wrap and ghost poop) -- and the idea of starting to wrap stuff just makes me want to, well, not do it.  Why am I feeling this way when I normally don't? 

Maybe I'll feel better about it this coming weekend once this horrific work-week is done and over with and my deadline has been met.  I think it's weighing on my shoulders more than I realize.

Weekend Vignettes

It is a cold, crisp and SUNNY Saturday morning at Harstine, after a very wet Friday and a very windy evening. Sun is at least trying to infiltrate our condensation-laden windows here at Kingfisher Mansion. (AKA da camping trailer). JDub is even squinting over his jigsaw puzzle. My laptop screen is hard to see in the glare. But we aren’t complaining! No siree! We haven’t seen the likes of the sun here since the end of September (I believe). Seems like eons.

We have three heaters going. There’s the one JDub installed a couple of weeks ago (that works well, but doesn’t put off enough heat to make the whole mansion trailer comfy); then there’s one in the bathroom (important to avoid an icy toilet seat); and then one in the living space, as sort of a supplement. The result is pretty good, except that the area from the knee down tends to feel chilly. It would help if I were dressed, instead of sitting here in my night shirt, naked from the knee down.

~~~

And so…. I threw on some clothes, and me and the weenies headed to the beach! In the sun! JDub joined us and we found agates! It was gorgeous down there with the blue water and blue sky and snow on the tips of the Olympic Mountains. I was glad to have my coat on, but it wasn’t butt-cold since the wind mercifully wasn’t blowing. The beach was washed and reformed since we’d been down there last, and unfortunately the tidy access path to the gravelly berm was all strewn with waterlogged flotsam and jetsam we had to trip step over. Kind of an eyesore. However, next time we’re here, it’ll probably look entirely different with all the fall and winter storms due to blow in.

~~~

JDub and I apparently continue to have our overlapping sleeping schedules since he began his new shift at work. About 2:30 I was ready for a nap – couldn’t keep my eyes open. I woke up about 4:00 to him finally laying out his table with the cushions for his nap. So he jigsaw puzzled while I slept, and now I’m laptopping while he’s sawing jigs logs.

We both dream vividly here. And they mostly tend to be rather unpleasant dreams, or at least mundane – but still vivid. It’s not real often that either of us remember our dreams, but we generally do here. Lately we’ve both had dreams about our place here at Harstine. I dreamed that the architect that we’ve hired determined that our septic system was unsafe and we could no longer use it. And JDub dreamed that this same architect kept harping at him to decide between swatches of carpeting, even though we are NOT having a house designed – [we’re just having the building site determined], and JDub kept explaining that to him, but he kept insisting that everything hinged on the carpet selection. We probably won’t even have carpeting! I guess we have some deep-seated worries! (Maybe about the architect’s competence?)

I won’t even begin to tell you about all my erotic dreams! (Must have something to do with the salt air?)

~~~

Dad called me last evening on my cell phone and explained that he’d gotten Mom moved to the rehab center and settled in. He said her room is quite nice and bigger than her hospital room. There’s another bed in there (currently empty), but with plenty of privacy because there’s a wall between the beds. I thought that was a good idea. Hospitals should do that. He also said that Mom handled the transport over there quite well. She was wheeled down to their Honda Odyssey via wheel chair, but she had to get up and climb in the van (and then out of it once they arrived). For months now, that has been a very difficult and excruciating activity for her to do, even though the Odyssey is much lower to the ground than most vans. But Dad said she handled that the best she has in a long time.

She’ll only be in this place for a little over a week, then she goes home! The jury’s still out over whether she’ll have surgery, but by the time she’s released, she will have been on the antibiotic for 5 weeks (and will continue to take it at home, although not intravenously, of course). Another scan at some point should determine the status of the infection, and I suspect that’ll be the determining factor (surgery or not). Well, that and pain control. At the rehab center, she’ll have physical therapy, which I think will do her good. I tend to lift an eyebrow over the value of most physical therapy, but I do think it’s beneficial after surgery, or in recovery situations. Mom’s quite weak from not being mobile for so long, so she needs to work at getting her strength back.

~~~

Rain’s back, off and on. The doggies just sheared off the remaining meat from their steak bones out on the deck – they do that quickly anyway, let alone when it’s damp and cold outside. So now they have the stripped bones inside to gnaw on. We allow that. (Yup, spoiled rotten). They definitely know that the phrase “go for a ride” means a lot more than just simply going for a ride. (At the very least it means a doggy biscuit at the latte stand, and generally it means the beach! Steak bones! Naps!).

~~~

CDs played this weekend:

Foreigner
Sinead Lohan
Duran Duran
Flashdance Soundtrack
Aimee Mann
Saturday Night Fever Sountrack
Blue Man Group
Sixpense None the Richer
Pete Yorn
The Waifs
Santana
Live from the Mountain Music Lounge, Volume 11 (eleven!)*
A couple of burned compilations by Moi

*My favorite radio station puts out one of these every year, from artists in town (Seattle) promoting their concerts. They’re recorded acoustically in the station’s music lounge and they are excellent – range from Sarah MacLachlan to Dave Matthews to Morcheeba to Rickie Lee Jones to the Wallflowers. I mean, you name it. They tend to be up-and-coming artists, and over the years, you go back to the older volumes and realize what big names they’ve become. The CDs sell out in a heartbeat at local Starbucks or on their website (and proceeds benefit The Wilderness Society).

Steak! It's What's For Dinner!

People, this is the way to go!  No mess, no fuss, and then waited on to boot.   (To boot?)  Oh, it was a lovely dinner at the Keg.  We all had steak!  Nobody had turkey!  (Well, my little niece did have chicken strips).  I ordered my filet rare and then cut up some chunks to bring back to Mom at the hospital.  My sister-in-law cut up some of hers for Mom, too. She ordered the "sirloin Oscar" which was a nice sirloin topped with scallops and shrimp and bearnaise sauce.  We were all oohing and ahhing over our scrumptious food.  It was just wonderful!  (And Mom thoroughly enjoyed her bites!  Made me wish I'd cut off more for her, but her appetite has been so very light -- she's lost a lot of weight -- that I figured she wouldn't eat it all as it was.  Well, she did!  And she oohed and ahhed, too!)  (Hope it didn't make her sick or anything!)  She told one of her doctors the other day that she was going to have bites of rare steak brought back to her on Thanksgiving and he shuddered and said, "Why would you want that?"  Turns out he has been a vegetarian for over 30 years, so upon hearing that, Mom said, "Why would you want to be that?"

So when we got to the hospital the first time (before heading to dinner), Mom was wrapping up dialysis.  We visited with her in the dialysis room and I took a couple of pictures.  I'd never seen a dialysis machine before, and I was surprised at how big and intimidating it seemed.  I'm not sure I totally understand the concept -- I know basically that it purifies the blood, since the kidneys can't.  Lots of water is involved, so plumbing for home-dialysis is quite involved and expensive.  There were several "hookups" to Mom herself (her veins are protesting).  She also has a surgically installed "port" in her arm that is her major "hookup", but she's also connected to I.V.s during the whole process -- which takes over 4 hours. 

Today is her last day in the hospital, and tomorrow she's being moved to a rehabilitation center.  Dad thought it was called a "convalescent home", (which to me sounds like a nursing home!) but based on the little bit of information he did know (like sort of where it's located, and that it's across the street from a dialysis clinic -- which does provide transport to and from), I did some research on the internet after we got home and learned that it's a rehab center affiliated with the hospital that she's in.   There it sounds like they'll continue to administer the antibiotic and work on pain control (which does seem much better to me based on what I observed today), and then she'll also have some physical therapy.  She'll be able to start back at her closer-to-home dialysis clinic the 5th of December, so it sounds like she'll be home by then.  Surgery still hasn't been ruled out, but the doctors feel it's best to wait out the 4-6 week antibiotic treatment first.  And then see.  I really did notice an improvement in her today, and part of that may have been because her kids and kids-in-law and grandkid were there to see her.  But she obviously felt good enough to put some makeup on -- and care about doing that, which I think says something.  She was a lot more coherent (read:  not so loopy), and the pain wasn't so up front and center.  She'll probably kill me for posting this picture, but OH WELL.

So, it was a good day.  I wish that Mom would have been able to join us at the restaurant, but she was still definitely a big part of the holiday.   It was also fun to see my little niece, M.  She's really not so little -- she'll be 6 in a couple of months, and with two tall parents, she is a one tall little girl.  Ain't she cute?  Dontcha just love that dimple?  She enjoyed herself a Shirley Temple with her Thanksgiving dinner.  (And I did a pretty good job Photoshopping out the red-eye, don't you think?  Oooh, it was bad!)

We had to drive my VW New Beetle today (plus we'll take it to JDub's folks' house and then Harstine tomorrow, as well).  JDub's Durango is misbehaving!  Actually, it's something to do with ball joints (I think) and it could be dangerous.  And as it is, the problem is wearing heavily on his tires.  He now has the parts to fix the problem, which he'll have to do this coming week in the morning before heading to work.  So just to be safe, we're taking the Bug.  Should be most interesting tomorrow, packing it up with the cooler, tote box, laptop, overnight bags, and wiener dogs.  Just wonder how that's gonna work?   

Thanksgiving Eve

A friend of mine emailed me these photos under the title "The Last Pictures Ever Taken."  (As in "ever").  At first I did a fair amount of gasping, then I realized they had to have been Photoshopped.  But they're still worth some gasps and grins.  Actually, I remember a couple of years ago I saw some photos on a news site of some people with their hair majorly standing up on end.  Turns out they were in the midst of a very dangerous electrical storm high up on a mountain and didn't realize what kind of dire straits they were in.  Thinking it was just a unique phenomenon, they took pictures of each other (with their hair standing up on end).  Their electrocuted bodies were later found with their cameras, and the film was developed afterward.  Those truly were their last pictures ever taken.

I can't believe how fast these three work-days flew by.  It's Thanksgiving Eve!  Usually that time drags when you're looking forward to a long weekend, but I've been too worried about making progress on this damned proposal.  Well, I could have saved my high blood pressure angst for another day.  (Not that I have high blood pressure -- but I do tend to develop high angst in times like this).  None of the technical staff obviously cared enough to worry about it one bit!   This proposal has so many holes that only they can fill, and they've been completely unresponsive.  And they weren't even around today at all.  I can't go any further until they do respond, so I didn't even bother to bring work home with me this weekend.  What's the point?  I could make up shit.  (And then have to redo it all next week).   So, I'm on holiday, baby!  And next week will be utter hell...which was what I was trying to prevent.  (I hate not having any control whatsoever out of preventing hell.  And it'll be my hell, not theirs).

I'm going to miss my kid tomorrow for Thanksgiving.  It's actually been several years now that he spends Turkey Day with his dad's side of the family, and now he just drives down and hangs out with his aunt and uncles and cousins and  dad and grandparents.  I'm sure he'll have a good ol' time.  But I'm going to miss him.   In spite of laziness and messiness and some (relatively minor) irresponsibility, he's been fun to have around lately.  He's been upbeat, funny, and very sweet with me.  I get lots of hugs, and that always turns me to mush.  (And no!  It's not because he "wants something" -- he's just been affectionate, particularly since knowing about my mom being in the hospital.  He definitely has the imaginative ability and compassion to put his feet in my shoes).

So no early JDub tonight.  Sigh.  I was bushed last night so I went to bed and was asleep when he got home.  He was obviously bushed and so therefore asleep while I was up getting ready for work this morning.  I miss the Today Show!  I may have to get me a little mini-TV so I can watch/listen while I throw on makeup and do my hair in the mornings.  I'm certain that Katie, Matt, and Al  are sorely missing my viewership.

I received the greatest and funniest email from my wonderful Oregon friend, H, tonight.  I'm still cackling over it.  You know you're in for a good time when the first sentence reads:  "I have had a couple of drinks and been in the hot tub so expect anything."  Tee hee.  I can't wait to see her over New Years.  Won't we have fun!!  This wonderful friend, whom I've known since the 3rd grade, will be turning 50 on December 3rd.  I hope that she doesn't mind that I mention this, but I think it's a marvelous thing. (It's especially marvelous that it happens 6 months before it happens to me...)  She is definite proof that at age 50, you can be beautiful.  Well, she can be beautiful.  Some of us can just be, well, not gag-worthy.  Usually.

I think of all the folks cooking and cleaning tonight.  If not dealing with the turkey, then making pies, green bean casseroles, or relish trays.  I don't have to do diddly.  I anticipate that traffic will suck tomorrow, but at least we don't have to cross over any of the Cascade passes.  On the Number One major pass between eastern and western Washington, there was a rock slide not too long ago that is still not under control, so in both directions through that area, only one lane is open.  It's highly recommended over the news to NOT TRAVEL ACROSS THE PASS.  Well, I happen to know of people who have no choice!  That's where family is.  Or, that's where they need to come from to get home from college.  I'll just bet you that the little prop flight service is humming!  I took it once, years ago, and overdosed on Dramamine.  (Although I was glad I'd taken it -- just didn't need to take quite so much).  I remember bumping my head on the airplane door on the way out -- hard.  Wanted to cry.  But refrained.

So... enjoy your Turkey Days!  As I mentioned, I will be having steak.  BUT, I do have a 14+ lb. turkey that our company gave to all of us in my frig and I need to do something with it.   Maybe take it to Harstine and deep fat fry it!  Heh heh. 

If You Are A Teacher.....

....or if you are one of those people who regularly "bash" teachers (you know who you are), you really need to read this.

Foggin' Sick Of It!

I don't know about you, but I sure know which picture I prefer!  We've hardly seen past the hoods of our cars since Saturday.  Tomorrow calls for more of the same.  As does Turkey Day.  (And then, well, the rains are due).  Yup, it'll be next July before we see the likes of the photo on the right.  Fog is oppressive to me -- I feel closed in.  And there's no color to speak of.  I actually prefer it to be rainy because at least you can normally see beyond the hood of your car.  Well, unless you're on the freeway and the semis swamp you as they blow on by and you can't see beyond your windshield even with the wipers on helicopter-blade speed. 

Talked to my mom for quite a long time last night, and then talked to my dad for a bit tonight.  It doesn't sound like Mom will be able to join us for Thanksgiving dinner at the Keg after all.  She's been making a point to get up and walk with her walker, but she's still in really horrific pain.  Now there's talk about putting her in a convalescent center that is located right across the street from a dialysis clinic (in the same town where the hospital is, which is 35+ miles away from where Mom and Dad live).  Even with the dialysis center across the street, Dad would still be required to transport Mom there for her treatments, and that would mean driving 35+ miles at 4:00, spending four hours while Mom had dialysis, and then driving home 35+ in the pitch dark/inclement weather, and Dad just can not be driving in the dark these days.  Jeeze.  I think we're going to need to hire somebody to do the transporting, if that's the case.  Mom was thinking she'd be better off at home, but the "chair" where she used to have dialysis at the relatively nearby dialysis center has been taken and so there's no opening for her there anymore.  This is tough.  The worry of aging parents -- here we are.  What to do?

Actually, when I talked to Mom last night, she sounded pretty darned good.  Not nearly so loopy from the pain medication, although emotional at times.  She's craving rare steak (she's always loved her beef mooing!), and so I told her that I'd make absolute certain that she'd get some blood rare steak from our Thanksgiving dinner.   Just a few bites, I'm sure, since she certainly doesn't have a big appetite.  'Course, hospital food will put a crimp in that. 

So, tomorrow's "Friday", so to speak.  I'm quite sure I'll be bringing work home with me to deal with over the long weekend.  Since it's supposed to rain, I guess that's OK.  Plus, I could certainly do with some OT in my paycheck in time for Christmas.   Argh.

Awfully Close to Home

It was a shock to see the Tacoma Mall in red "Breaking News!" print at the top of the CNN website yesterday.  I had to blink a few times, believing I wasn't reading it correctly.  (CNN even beat the local news sites -- took a while for them to bring it up).  For seven years, I lived almost within walking distance of this mall.  And throughout my growing-up years, and young adulthood, this was THE mall I went to.  In fact, it was sort of a rite of passage soon after getting our driver's license to drive to THE MALL.  For years, it was the only mall around. 

It's been a while since I've been there, now that I live about 30 miles away.  But yesterday's news about the shooter certainly made me shudder.  I still know a number of people who go there regularly, so once names were released of some of the victims and hostages, I had to hold my breath until I realized none were familiar.  Could have been.  I'm thankful most people weren't badly hurt, although one person is in critical condition.  Nothing's been said about the extent of his/her injuries, nor has a name been released. 

What is it about young men and anger?  I don't mean to generalize (not all young men are that way, obviously) -- but it's prevalent enough to maybe warrant some research.  And as FB suggested, maybe have that research funded by the gun manufacturers! 

Today was Day One of three Very Busy Days.  Ugh, I've got a proposal due soon after the holiday weekend, and it's so NOT fun trying to beg for technical information when so many people are already taking an extended holiday.  Or otherwise busy themselves.  Or otherwise ignoring my pleas. 

I did learn Friday (through the back door) that a godawful, insane, and bureaucratic proposal I worked on last summer for the Oregon Department of Transportation -- that I swear was deliberately convoluted and complex to try to trip up marketing coordinators like me and make us look like idiots -- was actually AWARDED TO OUR FIRM.  Not that my boss acknowledged my efforts.  (Of course, all the kudos went to the technical dweeb who was at least half-responsible for all my angst and sleepless nights with his own special brand of idiocy and knuckle foot-dragging.  In fact, he would make a good ODOT employee).   

I could SO be Dooced.