I'm feeling really frustrated and, well, heavy-hearted. How do people rise to management/supervisory positions when they treat people like dirt? Is that why they are put in those positions? Does Corporate America have a philosophy that employees should be treated poorly? I wonder if the thinking is this: "Don't be positive, don't give kudos, don't let them believe for an instant that they are valuable because then they'll ask for a raise." Is that what it comes down to? I don't think I'm alone in the jobs I've had where the Number One Objective is to dig and find what you did wrong. And if 100,000 things were done right, it doesn't matter because after all, that's what you're being paid for. But that One Thing you did Wrong -- in the opinion of whomever had the apparent luxury of time to dig, find, and point a finger -- will be cause for:
1) Endless rehashing
2) Stern warnings
3) Debrief, debrief, debrief
4) Close-the-door more rehashing
5) Concern about your intellect and capabilities, even if your projects have won numerous jobs for the company
6) Demand for status reports and constant communication, that ultimately takes away from the quality of your work
All of which leads to:
1) Self doubt
2) Paranoia
3) Depression
4) Burn-out
5) A feeling that nothing you do is good enough. (Even though throughout school you were told you were great!)
I don't know, maybe my skin is feeling rather thin right now, but what I was "called on the carpet" for regarding this [military installation] submittal, I felt was totally unfair and totally out of my control. I was completely at the mercy of the highly paid people I had to rely on to provide me with technical information in a timely manner. And a deadline loomed. I can honestly say that I did a good job, with care and conscientiousness through the haze of intense stress, and I feel that I communicated my concerns clearly along the way, particularly regarding one project manager who was not complying with providing me what he was tasked with until the eleventh hour. As a result, his contribution did not flow well with the rest of the submittal, but it had been reviewed by his superior, who gave me the OK to go with it.
But my supervisor has put the blame on me, that the submittal was substandard. "It should have never gone out like this."
I am just bewildered. I was very proud of this huge effort. But I guess shit truly does run downhill.
